EMPATHY : Modern day most powerful Invention

Today I write about an experiential learning and realisation. A word you came across somewhere although meaning and importance remains undetermined. Working with many organisations with various job functions and reporting to different characters called Managers/Superior/Leader. As I sit back working from home past eight months I started to identify my role and position in the team of every company I have worked in the past and I currently work and I started to all like the jobs I have ever done. All this because I was left with sometime with me during this pandemic. I learnt about EMPATHY.

Leaders/ Managers need to have both perspective and empathy. This is typically not practiced anymore because todays leaders/managers strongly believe holding a status and a designation comes with great power of controlling.

Theories say “LEADERS DO NOT REALLY NEED TO BE IN-CHARGE. THEY ARE ANTICIPATED FOR TAKING CARE OF THOSE ACTUALLY IN-CHARGE”. The functioning of this designation is really created for people which they do not realise. It begins with we getting our formal education from school, high school (senior secondary schooling) and a Bachelor’s Degree course. Most of us continue to complete a Master’s Degree to get further knowledge and skill set to procure superior job opportunity. As we complete our education that moves us to become an employee of our first job. There we are inducted and given a detailed tour of the office place and culture explaining us the job description. We implement theoretical knowledge we have gained. It is necessary for us to perform and genuinely WE WORK HARD. As we work from days to a week, weeks to months, months to a year and we getting at our job we get promoted. Promoted to a designation where you have to direct the position where you began in the organisation but no body shows us how to do that. That’s why we have managers or leaders who are really micro managers as they have already done that job are now supposed to lead. There is a literal transition here from learning how to do the job and being responsible for managing people doing that very job. Some people are slow towards accepting the transition where as some are pretty quick and some do not realise this transition. The origin for the designation requires the organisation to communicate how to be a Manager/Leader. Leadership is a skill like any other, it is a learnable and a practicable skill.

Like parenting, everyone has the capacity to be a parent. That doesn’t mean everyone should be a parent. Leadership is the same, which means everyone has the capacity to be a leader. That doesn’t mean everyone should be a Leader. It urges you to act when leading and everything goes well you give away all the credit and reversing this if everything goes wrong you take the responsibility and assist mending it. This doesn’t mean you be harsh and pressurise the people who you manage, instead you simply ask them to try again and helping them. You as a manager/leader are also not responsible for the result too. Think of a CEO having business priority as “customers”. They won’t as they are not responsible for the customer they are responsible for the people under them who are again responsible for other people and so on.

Some months back I had been to another city for a meeting and had to check in a hotel. The reason hotels are wonderful is not the fancy beds, any hotel can do that. The experience developed by guests rightly is. Every time I walked pass any hotel employee, they smiled and said “Hello sir, hope your stay is pleasurable”. You feel their delight genuinely and not because someone has instructed them. Continuing, I happened walking in their café for cup of coffee. Welcoming me the barista, Harold a friendly and engaging guy and apt for the job. I remember actually giving him a 100% tip for serving me. Talking to him curiously I asked him “so Harold do you like your Job?”, to which he instantly replied “Yes sir, I love my job”. Taking the conversation forward I asked him “what is this hotel company doing to you for you to tell me that you definitely love your job”. Again, promptly Harold replied to me that “not only my manage, any other manager too coming in the café would ask me about my job, the experience working here and what could that manager can do for him to make it better”. Then he expressed something that got my attention, he added he works in this cafe in the second half of the day and the first half he is a barista at a nearby hotel. He said working there is different, the managers are too authoritarian. He is working there just for his paycheque. Same person working two cafes.

We as leaders are always criticising our people as we need the right people but the reality is it’s not the people it’s our leadership. It’s as simple as leader creating an environment where people perform that leader gets employees like Harold’s of the in-house cafe in whereas if leader creates a bad environment we will get employees like Harold working for the other hotel. We have become competitive were hiring and firing is natural. Like if some employee is not able to perform the first instinct of the manager is “You are OUT”. This is because we DO NOT PRACTICE EMPATHY.

Let’s begin with imagining Case One: Your manager informs you about the performance for the quarter cautioning you it will be difficult for you to continue being on the job. How inspired are to come to work the next day?

Now let’s Imagine Case Two: Your manager informs you about the bad performance for the past quarter and asks about you or anything troubling you. Also asks you to open up as feels worried and would help you. Now how does that feel?

This is Empathy, it is about being concerned about the person and not just the output. We all have performance related issues and Mangers can only see performances. Our working flair has changed in the past decade, we are suffering from the business theories left over from 80’s and 90’s. They are bad for people and bad for business now. It worked then not necessarily works now. A decade ago people stood in long cues to make a call and now we have cellphones. That’s innovation and taking a step ahead.

The directives followed currently is similar to a football coach training players making the fans as priority. Will that model make a winning team? We don’t consider the working directives followed from yesteryears outdated and consider them as mantras to success. The model used was appropriate then as they were short on resources and technology. The business environment was very peaceful, supportive and option proof. The world we live today is competitive, monopoly seeking and options are plenty.