Perfectionists Procrastinator

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Procrastination is the action of unnecessarily & voluntarily delaying or postponing something despite knowing that there will be negative consequences for doing so. It could be further stated as a habitual or intentional delay of starting or finishing a task which seems difficult or even unpleasant.

In my Engineering College days I was doing Electronics majors & I had to write a lot of assignment papers for almost every subject in all eight semesters. When a normal student writes an assignment, they might spread the work schedule out a little as per their prior commitments. Something like, get started maybe slowly, but get enough done in the first half, with some heavier in the day later, everything gets done, things stay civil & are managed. I too would want to follow that plan. But when the assignments would actually come along the scenario was completely opposite. And that would happen every single time.

Today I’m a writer-blogger & have decided to write about procrastination. My behaviour has always confused the non-procrastinators around me, making me waning to explain the non-procrastinators what thoughts of procrastinators have, and why we are the way we are. I always had a notion that brains of procrastinators were actually different than the brains of other people. And to test that, I did some research online and offline to compare the thoughts of a procrastinator and that of a proven non-procrastinator.

My findings were, there actually is a difference. Both have a thoughtful Rational Decision-Maker in them, but the procrastinator’s thoughts also has an Instant Indulgence Worm. Now, this mean the procrastinators, everything’s fine until the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational decision to do something productive, but the Worm does not like that plan, so it actually replaces the thought & decides, let’s read the entire Wikipedia page of the Legendary Tata Family Story, because I just remembered that. Then going to the fridge, to see if there’s anything new. After that going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of Hyderabadi Diaries talking about family issues in a humorous way and ends much later with us watching interviews with Vijay Mallya’s Son talking on respecting women.

“All of that’s going to take a while, so we’re not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today. Sorry!”

CLARIFICATION

The Instant Indulgence Worm plans entirely in the present & has no memory of the past & of the future, caring about two things: Ease & Fun. In the animal kingdom, that works fine. Considering a worm and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than ease out and fun things, you’re a huge success!

Sometimes it makes sense to be doing things that are tough & less pleasant simply for the sake of the big picture. That’s when we have a conflict and for the procrastinator, that conflict tends to ending up in a certain way every time, leaving them spending a lot of time in the easy & fun place that’s entirely out of the Makes Sense Circle, naming the other as the Muddy Park.

Now, the Muddy Park is a place that all procrastinators understand. It’s where leisure activities happening at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be a priority. The fun you have in the Muddy Park isn’t actually fun, because it is a complete detour which follows with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred — all of those negative emotions. To be noted in such situation with the Worm controlling the thought patterns, how does the procrastinator ever transcend to the Make Sense Circle, a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen.

Though procrastinators have a guardian angel, someone always looking down on them & watching over in muddy moments — someone sparky, The Panic Monster. It is dormant most of the time & suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close or there’s danger of public embarrassment, a career disaster or some other scary consequence. The Panic Monster is that the Worm is terrified off.

That became very relevant in my life pretty recently, because the thought of writing this blog reached out to my head about six weeks ago. Now, of course, I started jotting points to be covered & in middle of this excitement, the Rational Decision - Maker seemed to have something else saying, “Are we clear on what we just accepted? Do we get what’s going to happen one day in the future? We need to sit & work on this right now.” And the Worm said, “Totally agree, but let’s just open Google Earth & zoom in to the bottom of Monaco, scrolling for two & half hours till we get to the top of the continent, so we can get a better feel for accuracy on Google. So that’s what I did that day. As six weeks turned into four, then two & then one, I received emails enquiring about a new blog post and its topic. Turning off the laptop on the black screen I saw the reflection of my face staring right back at me. And guess who woke up?- THE PANIC MONSTER…..

The Panic Monster starts losing it, a few seconds later with the my system in a mayhem. The Worm suddenly disappeared and the Rational Decision-Maker can action as I can start working on the blog. Writing with intense frustration about what procrastination I had done, about what this Worm had done to the task. I thought if that’s how the procrastinator’s system works, then what’s going on? Why is everyone in the muddy place?

Well, it turns out that there are two kinds of procrastination. First kinds are when there are deadlines, the effect of procrastination is around short term effect as the Panic Monster gets activated. Second kinds are when there are no deadlines. If you choose a career where you are required to be a self-starter or something entrepreneurial, there are no deadlines on that at first. Not until you have done initial work to get momentum, to get things going. There also exists different important things outside your career that don’t involve deadlines, like being with your parents or exercising & taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn’t working.

Now if the procrastinator’s only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster, that’s a problem. Because in every non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn’t activate. It has nothing to trigger and the effects of procrastination is not contained. They just extend outwards forever. This long-term procrastination is much less visible & talked about as compared to the funnier, short-term deadline-based. It is mostly suffered privately & it can be a source of piling amount of long-term unhappiness & regrets. It’s that long-term procrastination that creates the feeling of a spectator in our own lives. The frustration is not that we couldn’t achieve our dreams on the contrary it is that we weren’t even able to start chasing the dream.

A little bit of a sudden realisation I don’t think non-procrastinators exist. I think all of us are procrastinators. Now, you might not be a mess, like some & some may have a healthy relationship with deadlines, but remember: the Worm’s sneakiest trick is when the deadlines aren’t there.

Now, I want to share one last thing. SOLUTION

Repair’s Principal Thought : Do actions without expectations of appreciation to action or conversely fear of consequence.

Actions should be done simply for the sake of doing the work itself with no emotion invested in any other external factor. The entire world operates solely based on external factors. In my reality, I did my assignments because if I didn't, I wouldn't score marks for my internals. My teachers graded the tests because if they don't, they have no tool to measure for teaching us. Parents pay the bills because if they don't, they may end up mounting dues & penalties.

Everybody does everything they do because there are consequences & also rewards that controls them. I developed a method that I could follow in my own life. I call this a 'No Diversion Route'. There are a few guidelines to this method

Guideline number 1: In order to succeed, one must set a concrete specific goal.

The goal behaviour is to work towards the goal & then if save leftover time then to enjoy other leisure activities. Additionally, while going through Guideline 1, usage of cell phone or internet is not allowed because it will gives a means to procrastinate all too easily.

Guideline Number 2: Only feelings of positivity surrounding the endeavour.

This entails both propagating own positive thoughts & rejecting any negative.

Guideline Number 3: Acknowledge either a feeling of satisfaction upon making progress towards the goal conversely if failed to do that feel the negative emotions.

Acknowledging the feeling of guilt & anxiety within just didn't feel good when avoiding work and felt good when didn't. This step is imperative, because self-reflection is key to the entire process. Being aware of your emotional reactions to the method & asking yourself why you feel & act the way you do. That shall causes lasting change as opposed to going through the process without processing much.

Guideline Number 4: Feel grateful

No matter if accomplished a lot, a little, or nothing at all take some time out to feel grateful that you had the ability to do whatever goal or behaviour it was that you wished to accomplish.

Guideline Number 5: To keep a reflection journal.

While this meant nothing by the way of scientific evidence, it was often just a bunch of random thoughts jotted down on paper,

So with these five guidelines:

Number 1: set a goal;

Number 2: be positive;

Number 3: acknowledge & reflect feelings;

Number 4: feel grateful;

Number 5: record what happens;

The part I didn't mention in the beginning, was every time I sat down to write that assignment, these horrible thoughts filled me. What if I put so much time & effort though it's bad & I have to redo the assignment all over again? What if I can't find anything to write about? What if I start writing and it's super boring?

So I essentially made a commitment that I can't break as there is nothing I fear more than commitments. I would worry way too much about the outcome & not spending my energy on the working for it. Except this process happened so fast that it didn't register it as a conscious thought. Instead, it was more a general sense of dread & doom.

Pro tip: Knowing it's bad as you start asking yourself why my head is suddenly a pressure cooker, and feeling trapped in it. Procrastination is a result of the negative emotions associated with work? - YES

Research shows the chronic procrastination is not contrary to the popular belief of laziness or poor time management. It is actually the product of negative cycles of emotions that creates other byproducts as well like guilt, stress, anxiety, depression, & diminished self-worth. In fact, the core mechanism for chronic procrastination is closely similar to that of obsessive-compulsive disorder. We may laugh at the cartoonish way the chronic procrastinator simply can't do and what they put their mind into. But in reality, the plight isn't so humorous.

Well, actually facing these emotions, accepting & dismissing them which isn’t easy. The more I followed it, the easier it got, and the payoff was enormous. I rewired myself to handle stress in a way that promoted joy, positivity, self-acceptance & gratitude, instead of guilt & hopelessness. Some people may not think this is an actual or significant issue, maybe especially the older generation, but today's youth, you and me, this is a mammoth-sized issue that affects everyone.

About 20% of us are said to be chronic procrastinators, & I think that's 20% too many. We have the ability to fix this, so that we're not just a statistic. We can make a difference just follow the No Diversion Route I mentioned earlier. Commit to changing own habits, asking yourself why you procrastinate, & going on a journey of self-reflection. Become that person who always stands front & centre, loving whatever it is that they're there to do.

We have the power to make a change. Just, whatever you do, We need to think about what we’re really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating on something in life. We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Worm. That’s a job for all of us. And because there’s not that many options there, it’s a job that you probably start today. Well, maybe not today, but …sometime soon is not the real solution.