ADDICTION FOR APPROVAL

Is seeking approvals an addiction, Really?

This can be the first question you may consider reading the title of the blog. The answer to this quarry is ABSOLUTELY YES, MOST OF US ARE ADDICTED TO IT.

Approvals can have impacts on people more than addiction to substances. People get the momentum on approvals from others defining ‘how a person feels about you’. It is a sense where we consciously suggest that “the way I feel about ME is based on how somebody else feels about ME and it is somebody else’s feeling much more valuable than yours.”This is because we have given the power to someone to think and change our thinking and decision-making abilities and this is called APPROVAL ADDICTION.

Approval Addiction is an expression to an infection from rejection where it doesn’t make us bleed physically but emotionally it hurts a lot. It is interesting for people who think they have a personality type that does not make us an approval addiction, instead of meeting our own needs we are accommodating others preferences. We end up giving people what they want and not something they need. This satisfies our need for attention more than assistance. So instead of meeting their needs we are accommodating their preferences because our activity although from the outside looks we are doing it for them wherein from the inside we are doing it for ourselves. We give them help they give us compliments, approvals and getting a feel of being needed.

The feeling of being not needed or rejection is FEAR. Approval Addiction follows Passive Aggressiveness as well, we keep stuffing feelings within because there is conflict avoidance as we don’t want to say what we feel because we don’t want to offend the source and pleasure we receive of being NEEDED. So, we choose to rather feel the discomfort with our feelings than dealing with the possibility of rejection. We tend to suppress discomforting feelings repeatedly then the outcomes is inevitable. When we don’t show our expressions where they should be expressed and control them, they come out when they shouldn’t be expressed and are out of our control. When we should be talking about an issue in this year but we start going all the way back from 2010 coming on to every suppressed feeling. This is genuinely because we are ready dealing with the discomfort in dysfunctionality rather than the possibility of they rejecting us then.

“I feel what I feel but I won’t say what I feel”, this plays with every aspect of our lives. It will troll professionally and torture socially and it will make us feel miserable in every relationship whatsoever. Every relation is on reciprocity, freely expressing needs and expressions. This is a vicious circle where we are when it's needed by somebody more than anybody really needing it protecting our necessity of being needed. The struggle to keep up with being needed complements an ANGER. Anger here is the secondary expression for instance first we are cheated then is when we are angry.

We cannot realize unless we are in denial and at some point, people need to admit that “what people think about me extremely matters”. Recalling an action we took when the inner conscious asked us to do something nevertheless we did something else to avoid being rejected. Many of us aspire to lead and some are already leading. It is a difficult situation here as leading principal says YOU DO NOT LEAD THE ONES YOU NEED. When you need the ones you lead they are helping you where it should have been the other way around meaning that rather than guiding them we will be accommodating their needs. If we do not take control of this behavior of ours it limits our true potentials in life. So, when we want to be in demand we need to understand that every day I am making decisions that is disappointing people because if we have to reject offers and opportunities everybody is not going to be motivated. Leading we will except every opportunity, respond to every request helping everybody not realizing that we didn’t live life for ourselves. Three things people with approval addiction face on a regular basis:

1. Suffering abuse from the ones being satisfied.

2. Having many useless people in their life.

3. Pursuing other people’s preferences ignoring own purpose.

Now realizing that Approval Addiction blinds us and puts excuses in our tongue so that we don’t see the real side of people and make excuse we needing their approval. It is essential that we stop wasting our time trying to DELIGHT PEOPLE that is to accomplish something that cannot be accomplished. Contribute the best to satisfy them and they will have complained to counter remembering the times we have failed to deliver.

I wish each one of us get rid of APPROVAL ADDICTION. Most of us are and don’t really realize suffering. Let’s declare that we will jump into a sea of possibilities we haven’t considered or heard before for betterment of our quality of life and aiming to achieve goals set by us seeking no approvals.